About Today

imagesI am not great at endings.  I hadn’t really thought much about this until Charlotte Sills at Ashridge raised the topic of managing endings in a coaching or counselling context.

Reflecting on this it would seem that I have some ‘unfinished business’ (see I was paying attention).  It’s no big deal, I have a tendency to avoid  ‘endings’. And, sometimes, thinking about past ‘endings’, I get the feeling that somehow I’ve forgotten something.

I recently finished a spell as an interim HR Director.  Recalling that session at Ashridge I re-read the chapter in Charlotte’s excellent Skills in Gestalt Counselling regarding endings, determined not to repeat past mistakes.

The key is to recognise the ending for what it is.  Sloping off with no marking of the event diminishes it and agreeing that you’ll be back soon (when everyone knows you won’t be) denies it.  Of course it may be appropriate to request or offer ongoing support and leave the door open for future relationships, but often this is simply a form of avoidance.

I decided that I’d make this ending ‘About Today’, not a raking over of the past or crystal ball gazing into the future.  We’d just have a day that was my last and clearly mark it as such.

We had a small team lunch, shared a few stories – nothing too serious.  Then we went back to work and I tidied up a few loose ends before leaving.  Perhaps we’ll keep in touch and maybe I’ll be back.  I’d like that.  But if not we’ll all be fine.

And yes even though it was very low key I’m pretty sure I didn’t forget anything.

Today you were far away
and I didn’t ask you why
What could I say
I was far away
You just walked away
and I just watched you
What could I say

How close am I to losing you

Tonight you just close your eyes
and I just watch you
slip away

About Today – The National

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